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Anger and dealing with it. 

September 11, 2015 by Kayce L.

The key to dealing with anger is to monitor your self-talk. Self-talk is a major strategy in any anger management program. Self-talk is the conversation you have with yourself about people, situations, circumstances, frustrations, and any expectations that may make you angry. When you are frustrated or angry, you allow that person or situation to occupy most of your thoughts. You will know someone is inside your head when all your self-talk is about them. The way to get things that make you angry out of your head is not to focus on it, but focus on what YOU have control of and take responsibility for your own behavior.


  1. Sandy says:

    I’m so angry at my mom and she has Dementia, doesn’t know any of her 6 children. So many new events have popped up since the last 11 days. Serious ones. So I beat myself up with a hammer instead of a feather. I’ve been crying over this for 11 days. It hurts. I’m angry

  2. Shane says:

    I too will pray for both you and your mother,Sandy.
    Anger makes me mad.I struggle so much with anger.

  3. Scott says:

    I fear anger, and angered by fear. Point? Don’t really have one, but I do have 30 days.

  4. Shane says:

    Having pondered this post for several days now .I realized it is me that is in my head I take up my every thought.It is me I am angery at and because of this I get mad at others easy.

  5. Scott says:

    I may have had some imaginary friends too

  6. Renee says:

    Ironically enough I was in a meeting today where a woman spoke of how the negative self talk is gone from her mind from working the program. I still am an angry person and when I find myself hating things about me I then in turn hate those things in others. Thus, the cycle repeats over and over. I’m new in recovery so I haven’t gotten any of this down but when I learned how to and honestly practiced praying to my higher power, admitting I don’t know the answer, and sincerely asking for help, a calming feeling washes over me. This feeling is serenity.

  7. Chloeb says:

    It’s very frustrating to have a parent with dementia.. My dad didn’t know me the last few years of his life.. I stayed drunk and basically barely ever went to the Alzheimer’s home to visit because I was so self centered.. God doesn’t make mistakes and he puts us through these things because he has a plan for us. Read page 417 of the big book on acceptance and say the serenity prayer over and over because we can only control what’s in our physical reach which is ourselves.. I hope that helps..

  8. Linda d says:

    The big book says nothing about self talk. It does talk about anger having the power to kill us. God has the power to help us be rid of resentments and the anger that results. The only chance I have to be of service to those around me is to focus on that. Resentments and anger make me useless.

  9. Andy says:

    It is harder to love people than to be
    Angry with them.. When you find self love you
    Will overcome your anger.. Try looking into
    Meditation and coming to see yourself as
    Good.. We are all good people inside.. But
    To stay true to yourself you must stay clear
    Minded.. And that comes with sobriety.. You can
    Do it..

  10. Mike says:

    I have a neighbor that is driving us crazy about the property lines on our home.
    Every time see him it’s a constant reminder how I really feel and it’s exhausting.

  11. Luisa says:

    So true. When I practice medatative self living talk I’m able to love others. People closest to me are the most difficult because of expectations. Finding the courage to ask for my needs and wants keeps clear communication and less misunderstandings which trigger my over sensivity or childish emotions. Anger is a secondary emotion to fear. My fears come from not getting what I want or losing something I have. Praying to God in Gratitude helps keep me focused.

    • Darrick says:

      Thank you for sharing. I’ll start looking at my expectations. Just thinking about a few off the top of my head and they are unrealistic. I treat those closest to me the worse. Sometimes I coextensive them to read my mind.

  12. Darrick says:

    I have one day of sobriety. I have been trying to get sober for 11 years. I get 2 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, etc.. but always go back to drinking. I think this happens because I end up becoming resentful and lose my gratitude. I’m at the end of the line. I’ve been a functional alcoholic which helps me to keep thinking I can handle it. I’ve got to learn ways to handle my anger and resentments. They eat me up

    • Sheryl says:

      You are on the right track.
      With myself I used to feel like I was in a holding pattern when I abstained from alcholhol. Now I feel like I am not just abstaining but flourishing.

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