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Recovery and Relationships 

August 23, 2015 by Kayce L.

Navigating one’s way through intimate relationships can be difficult regardless of one’s circumstances. Marital and long-term intimate relationships must go through major reconstruction during recovery or face collapsing. This reconstruction often involves healing past wounds to the relationship, redefining role responsibilities, altering daily rituals of communication, and developing new patterns of sexual intimacy. It also involves shedding self-defeating patterns of speaking and acting toward one another that have often become deeply ingrained during ones addiction days.


  1. Chloeb says:

    Two years ago when I came into the program I felt like there was no way my marriage would or could survive me getting sober… For many reasons… My sponsor kept me strong and told me I didn’t need to decide anything today that I was ok today and that was true for many days…a lot of praying and learning acceptance has made today a bit different…I said to her the other day “wow my husband has really changed we get along better the intimacy is coming back”. She reminded me he wasn’t the person that changed!! If you’re new stick around because those promises will come true if you work for them!!

  2. Chloeb says:

    Thomas so sorry you’re sad! Prayers coming your way!! And thank you kayce I just share from my heart!! Thank you for your topics!!

  3. Scott says:

    Day 12 here, someday I hope to be involved in a relationship, who knows crazier things have happened

  4. Tim says:

    11 months today. I have been married 27 years and our relationship is still struggling, don’t know if we’ll make it. Everyone says it will get better but still no intimacy or affection. Kids and mother in law are behind me 100percent, I am very discouraged.

  5. Chloeb says:

    Tim, I understand how you feel.. I’ve been sober just over two years and it possibly never will come back like it was before…but it took us well over a year to get just a flicker back if you get what I mean.. But… The big book tells us to work the program , get your mind focused elsewhere by helping others.. And one day at a time life will unfold just as God has planned…my husband is not a fan of aa ; in my case it’s like he’s pissed because he tried for many years to get me sober and then these rooms full of strangers as he puts it got me sober!! My sponsor told me that might happen.. But I’ve learned to accept that situation and trust my higher power and things are getting better!! Hang in there it will be just fine and we can’t change anyone but ourselves..

    • Thomas Cromer says:

      Tim I hope your feeling better.!!!!!!

    • Tim says:

      Thank you Chloeb, my relationship is similar, no flicker yet. She is glad I am sober, but she is perplexed by how I respond to stressful situations. She doesn’t understand how I can remain calm,I think she feels like I’m becoming passive which wasn’t my nature in. I am concentrating on my recovery and hope it works out for us but will accept Gods will whatever it may be.

  6. Pam says:

    141 days Sober!!30years married.. 30 years drunk.. Oops wonder what the problem is? I think I will choose Sober this time for the next 30 years

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