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Surrendering to Self- Acceptance

April 9, 2017 by Kayce L.

Self-acceptance comes when we first that we have a disease because it’s easier to accept ourselves as sick people rather than as bad people. And the easier it is to accept ourselves, the easier it becomes to accept responsibility for ourselves. Without surrender to our powerlessness, we are catapulted back into our disease .Working the Twelve Steps teaches us to learn self-acceptance.


22 Comments »

  1. Karen says:

    I have a real problem with self-acceptance. I still don't get that I have an illness rather than being bad even after 6years sober. My sponsor has told me that she's tired of my negativity and egocentricity, so that made me feel worse. Will I ever get to accept myself and like me?

    • Thomas Cromer says:

      Yes u will love yourself and enjoy your sobriety!!!!!!!

      • Karen says:

        Thanks Thomas. It just seems so difficult at the moment, but one day....... who knows.

        • Thomas Cromer says:

          It will get better Karen I promise!!!!!!

          • Darrell A. says:

            Karen, enjoy the moments.. Those are important times in recovery.. Ive ALWAYS told my sponsee that if staying sober was easy, EVERYBODY would be sober. It's NOT easy, However, after decades of being sober, I have learned in these rooms to let recovery come to me and to stop trying so hard to get what everyone else has and to keep the light shining on what I really need..Again stop trying so hard to get it and let recovery come to you in time. Let it happen and dont make it happen.

    • Cheryl says:

      Karen
      I have been sober for only 50 days. I too have a hard time with self acceptance. I'm pushing 60 years old and I have had a life time of being put down and rejected. People beat me down mentally, emotionally, personally and sexually, I hated myself in more ways then one. I was always wondering why I even existed. I went into Milan in-patient. There is where I came to the realization I am just as good as any person on this earth. I was created to do the best I can at whatever I do. When I think negative, I think of a way to turn it around and think of what good came from whatever might have been negative. You see thoughts are things and if you think about everything you say in a positive way and do everything you do in a positive fashion, then you can let the power of will pervade your every thought and action so you can destroy your power of won't that prevents the successful accomplishment of everything you do or say. I also hum. It keeps me happy and positive.
      Take care and hang in there.

    • Kirsten says:

      We have a physical allergy. Our brain reacts to alcohol in ways normal folks don't. We set off cravings which we are powerless over and only something from the outside can stop. It's proven our brains work differently.

  2. Dave w says:

    We are not bad people trying to get good. We are sick people trying to get well.
    Things get better eventually. It ain't easy. But it's better than what we were doing.
    Hang in and keep sharing, try and help someone else it will take you out of yourself for a while.
    That helps quiet the demons running in my head even after 30 years.

    • Thomas Cromer says:

      Amen Dave w!!!!!!

    • Darrel m says:

      I have been struggling with self acceptance currently in a treatment center after a week in hospital for a failed suicide attempt. Have been talking about acceptance allday here but when I read that opening statement literally just lifted a burden off my shoulders. Thank you

      • Dave w says:

        Darrell,
        What seems a tough and arduous task right now will get better.
        None of us exhibited much patience when using and drinking. We want it all and we want it now.
        People will tell you to keep coming back for a reason. Eventually we as fellow knuckleheads can get better if we don't give up to our inner voices.
        I hope you stick with it cuz it will work if you work at it. Doesn't mean life becomes friggin unicorns and marshmallows but it doesn't suck as much as it used to.
        I will keep you and other newcomers in my thoughts and prayers because you remind me of how I was.
        The only easy day was yesterday, hang in there dude.

  3. Dave C says:

    Glad to see all the recent topics, and responses. "It Ain't Easy" is probably the best thing I could have heard or read. Even with some time in sobriety life shows up and acceptance is difficult. I awoke yesterday depressed with suicidal thoughts. Mid day I was asked to share a meeting tonight. I'm only guessing God might have had something to do with it. To those new and old in sobriety, stay the course it will work out in his time, so enjoy the WAIT.

  4. Karen says:

    Thanks to all of you for your support. It really helps especially as I've been ducking meetings and have not spoken to my sponsor as she is fed up with me. It ain't easy is such a true statement. My biggest problem is comparing myself with others. Newbies who just seem to click either the programme and who seem so happy. I really struggle, even after 6years, and that makes me unhappy. I won't give in though. I will not pick up that first drink. But I do need to work out where I'm going wrong with the programme. As I've said before, one day I'll get it but until then......thanks to all of you.

  5. Janny says:

    Karen what you have shared here took guts, we are so critical of ourselves. I detested myself for so many years that it makes me cringe. You have found friends here that you have shared the truth with, now find a friend in AA and become part of a great supportive fellowship. Others need to hear what you are saying because someone out there feels the same way. Stop wacking yourself in the head and help someone else. Thanks for sharing you helped me today. xo

  6. Dave w says:

    Well said Janny!

  7. Kirsten says:

    We also don't shut the door to outside help. I know depression makes me feel hopeless and unable to think on a positive note. I met with a dr who helped me with this. I have been sober almost 18 years. It say in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous that we don't shut the door on outside help and make use of what doctors have to offer.

  8. Randy B says:

    God has a special spot in His heart for fools and alcoholics/addicts. He loves all His children and just waits for you to ask.

  9. Jerry says:

    A fed up sponsor can be toxic to sobriety. I had a very good sponsor, so I thought. He became upset withe at times and said some hurtful things. I felt under him control. I also went back to drinking after7 years sober. The last 2 with him. Be careful.

  10. Jerry says:

    I'll also add that after 4 years of drinking and madness I went into a meeting and asked a man I did not even know to please help me with AA. He said sure. That was 11 years ago. He's never once been critical of my life in AA and how I work the program. We're all different. Hard nosed sponsors don't work FOR ME.

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