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Daily Inventory

May 29, 2018 by Kayce L.

It has been a while since my last post. With many recovering alcoholic/addicts life gets busy and we get idle on putting recovery first. I realized I was getting into a dry drunk mode. My mental state has slowly gotten back into old behaviors. Last night I sat down and took an inventory and realized new character defects that I was showing. I had not been grateful. So I wrote a gratitude list and did some reading on recovery. It's something we can not afford to do is forget we need our meetings. We need others like us in recovery. A gratitude for life. For family. For sobriety. Today, I will put myself back on the rails. And I am grateful for every moment I have sober.

Remember. Step 10-11 and 12. Daily.


24 Comments »

  1. John T says:

    Because of AA, I have a life worth living today! When I am off the AA beam as they say, life is just so much more difficult. I don't need to be hard on myself because life gets hard. I notice that today and climb back on the beam as soon as possible and resume the daily disciplines of my program which include working the steps. Whoa those AA waves are an awesome ride!

    • Kayce L. says:

      Very nice John T. Thank you for sharing that.

    • Pamela says:

      I have found that if I don't apply the Steps to everything in my life, I become unbalanced. Yes, like falling off a beam, or a surfboard! And the fall really hurts!

      • Jerry says:

        Do not be discouraged, . None of use can maintain anything like perfect adherence to this simple problem we are not saints

      • Barbara S says:

        Speaking from experience, I can say being off the beam is a horrible way to live. Like alcoholism, my thinking is cunning baffling and insidious. The longer we stay isolated without meetings and connections, the sicker we get.

        • Angie says:

          I couldn’t agree more! I just changed my sobriety counter in here from 4449 days to 8 days. I OD’ed on pills a week ago. I’m broken inside. I hate what I have done. I’m sad and feel so sorry for my poor judgement.

          • Joe l says:

            What’s your point

          • Brandon J. says:

            Angie,
            I spent 20 years in and out of AA before “the light came on” I had so many relapses I thought I was constitutionally incapable of being honest with myself! I would beat myself up for failing until I realized that as long as I am breathing then my God had a purpose for me, also if my God can forgive me(and He does) then who am I not to forgive myself? Today my life is more than I ever could have imagined as long as I continue to practice these principles in all my affairs one day at a time! You can do this too, because if I can then anyone can!!

          • Pat says:

            Apparently God isn’t brought with you y.
            And that you’ve had a lfesson Hey insisted on teaching your!
            It simply takes what it takes to convince you that thi disease is out to kill you.
            If this text is full of typos, it is because my eyes are not working in concert with one another following recent eye surgery. So forgive my typing errors. But please, please, know that this dark time in your lifetime will eventually be transformed into af gift of open two another alcoholic down the road. We dou not to close the door on our Past or it can e a useful lesson for at least one human being will need to hear tomorrow o next week or 10 years from now.
            We’re just happy you survived and welcome you back.

      • Thomas Cromer says:

        Yes it does but it gets better

        • Pat says:

          Corrections:
          God isn’t through with you yet!
          You will have future opportunities to share your experience with others offering them a new sense of hope, understanding, and the feeling they are not alone.
          Trust in God, clean house, and help others!

  2. Jerry H says:

    Just broke up with a girlfriend and accept that is totally my fault. I’ve been a dry drunk for a while and need to get back on track. Reading your recent post hit home for me. I gotta trust God, clean house and work with others.

    • Kayce L. says:

      Yes, Jerry H that’s exactly what I had to do. Thanks for sharing. And keep it simple my friend.

  3. Janny says:

    Kayce your honesty is what keeps us all connected in our fellowship. We all fall off the beam sometimes. We are all here to help you back on the balance beam...God knows I fall off too!
    Love to you and thanks for this wonderful service.

  4. Jerry A says:

    There are a few things that I hear in meetings which to me is not what AA teaches . So many times people share about the " dry drunk " . We learn that we are no longer running the show and having done the first 3 steps we have a new employer .We also are taught not to judge others , love and tolerance is our code . People have the right to choose what works for them , how they stay sober is not our business . There are plenty of alcoholics that don't buy into the AA program and that is their right . Why do we feel that now that we are sober we can run our mouth about other people . I struggle with the hypocritical message that is often heard an AA meetings. A simple term " stay in your own Hula hoop" should be more than wasted words . To each its own I use AA to keep me sober because it works for me but I also understand that some people don't care for it . Acceptance is constantly hammered it to us at meetings, so let's just except people the way they are. Many people don't get this, our ignorance scares people away

    • Jurgen says:

      Man, this post is the also the way I see things today . It wasn’t until I was able to take what I need and throw the rest out to really enjoy meetings . I spent my earlier years in the program not able to “ live and let live and many times I thought it was my last meeting and I was ready to walk away from AA. I try my best to help new people get to that place . It’s a fact of life that even meetings have their share of nonsense and see many people never return . It is our Responsibility to carry the message in meetings and help the newcomer understand it’s OK not to agree with every thing they hear in meetings.

  5. Jerry A says:

    This program has given us a new life . We need to stay in Book and do the deal . I always pay attention to what people have to say when talking about slacking off in meetings.Daily reprove.The common problem with becoming complacent is we feel we are good and don’t need to continue to do the things we did in the beginning. We are not Immune to get drunk

  6. Megan says:

    I did the research on this. I was doing great- working on receiving my Masters Degree, working, raising my children....my husband left me and I became angry with AA-“I’m sober and this is what happens!”. My mother died in a terrible way and I was in a terrible accident. Then I decided I don’t need AA- I was angry with God and everything and everyone- I felt alone and that fellow AA members didn’t care or understand- I was hardly attending meetings and didn’t have the fellowship I once had. I stopped going to meetings....then one day, after 13 and a half years of sobriety, it was a good idea to have a couple glasses of wine. Sever years later - seven years of what hell must be- I crawled back into AA. It says in Bill’s Story that if we don’t develop our spiritual life, we will be unable to handle the low points that we will experience in life. Today, I do my best to stay close to my higher power - I do t do it well at all at times but I have noticed that low points have come and gone and some have stayed and I hardly notice them because my higher power keeps me occupied and very satisfied and content.

  7. P. FAD PRIME says:

    Day 728, pulling out of a typical “dry drunk”.
    Reading everybody’s stories and taking in their individual insights regarding their own fight with the “creature” helps me feel not alone in all of this.... that’s so much in itself
    Regards,
    P. FAD PRIME

  8. Bob A says:

    Some years ago I read an article from the late evangelist Billy Graham and he was responding to someone who was facing a great deal iof tragedies in their current life as you were. He said he did t have all the answers nor the reasons why God allows certain things to happen. God knows everything, we do not. At the same time we shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking that God directly causes everything that happens, even tragedies He may allow them to happen but He doesn’t necessarily cause them. We must not blame Him for tragedies which are caused by our own Carelessness.
    The most important thing I can tell you is that Gods understands your grief and anger and He wants to help you because He loves you. Yes you might have a hard time believing that God loves you while you go through troubled times. Don’t forget God is in the business of healing broken hearts. Let Him work in your heart as you turn your life over to Him. Beginning today.

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