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Sharing at meetings

August 16, 2018 by Kayce L.

Sharing at meeting use to be my favorite thing. As I live in a small town I have come to realize my home group takes what I share and harps on it for weeks as if I'm going fall off the wagon or worse. I use to feel as if this was my safe place. Lately I feel judgement and misunderstanding in my peers in this group. I took a little time off and return to retackle and I was uncomfortable. I'm realizing I need to attend different meetings near me and see what better suits me. I've known these people for almost 9 years in my sobriety and it use to be a safe place to share. Is this me over reacting or me judging them

I will venture out and attend new meeting to see if my recovery can grow. Right now I feel stagnate in a circle of unhealthy recovery. Meditation has relieved me from most of my worries. Has anyone ever felt this way. Thanks

God is good


21 Comments »

  1. Thomas Cromer says:

    7 years and 1 month on the 9 th I love my awesome life god is almighty!!!!!!

    • Kayce L. says:

      Way to go Thomas. Keep it simple. As I talked to my sponsor about my short comings I realize I need to be grateful. Thanks for sharing

      • Chuck W says:

        Thanks, Kayce. I have walked in similar moccasins in my daily journey in sobriety. I have been taught by 3 late sponsors and current one that I have no control over what others share. An old timer shared a prayer with me when I was 730 days sober after I shared how I had reacted to another outside a meeting. He told to say quietly, “God please take “” ... “ and place him or her somewhere else in your heaven and out of my hair right now. I can’t handle this right now. Thy Will be done not mine.”

        He then told me that God would not harm them. He will create thoughts in their brains that change their current thoughts that are being projected at you to own.

        One major factor of service for me was when my late 1st sponsor led me to become a member of the Loners Internationalist Meeting for Loners, Internationalists and Homers. Send an email to lim@aa.org and ask the service desk representative to send the LIM form to become a member.

  2. Bobby H says:

    At 11 years sober I too get tired of the same meetings week in and week out, it’s always good to explore other meetings. As far as feeling judged, that’s their own defects. It’s easier for me to worry about me, and not worry about what people think of me. Good luck with your journey, sounds like you could use a meeting

    • Kayce L. says:

      Thanks bobby. I agree. I need focus on me. I always forget that one little tid bit about recovery. Don’t take other inventory. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Jim K says:

    At around 2 years sobriety One of the meeting, my home group changed a lot. Young people became more active, started a group conscience and were shut down by an older stuck in a rut people. It was difficult to change it up, the first meeting I went to after the change I was asked to be a sponsor! My life keeps getting better, I have great friends in the program, and I continue to go to meeting 7 days a week(more or less)talk to my sponsor and sponsor others when I am blessed enough to be asked. Keep it fresh!

  4. Dave C says:

    I totally identify with the post. I personally am resistant to change initially, BUT God has shown me time and time again change is nessasary for growth.

  5. Dave w says:

    I could use a meeting dammit!
    Been missing my home group. But it is good to go to other meeting for perspective.
    Not having a good night but I ain’t gonna drink.
    Just pray for some sort of guidance. And get through this night.

  6. Gayle R says:

    Thanks Kayce•I changed home group at nine years Sobriety! I like to know what meetings are all day & change it up! I have a few I go to weekly; some bi weekly. That has worked to keep me in the HOW= Honest•Openminded•Willing. I moved to a new state 20 months ago & do the same here! Keeping my recovery first & my dependency on my Higher Power & not other people. I hope you are okay or know you will be. Talking to my sponsor helps. Working with others does too. Praying with you! Keep doing the next right thing, one day at a time! Sorry I missed August! Keep messages coming! Love & Tolerance is our code.

  7. Jim M. says:

    I understand the need to visit other AA meetings. Meeting new people inside AA and outside the program always gives us an opportunity to be a channel of God’s love, His Peace, and His Joy. But I can only do this when I stop focusing so much on myself, but become a better listener.
    In my home group, I am aware that some people always have to share for substantially more than three to five minutes, and seem to always seem focused on themselves, and the same problems. I have found that when I am so focused on what I want to share, I fail to listen to others. When I do that I am not being a channel of God’s love. How can I lift up other people today?

  8. Laura B says:

    It is none of my business what anyone thinks or says about me. There is no bad A.A. meeting and if I focus on the good- it is good. 🙂
    - Laura 09.13.92

  9. Jerry says:

    Good Evening Y'all , I enjoyed reading some of the post and certainly can relate to all . I'm approaching 7 years in a few and I find myself getting tired of hearing same people share at my home group day in day out . My sponsor is a sharp guy and always and reminds me I need to be grateful for my time and to stay focused on the good in meetings and if I listen I always get my medicine . On a funny note " a wise man told me" the only thing wrong with meetings is that they are full of alcoholics!! Let's up stay positive !!

  10. Mary S says:

    I was meant to read this today for sure because as I sit here contemplating gong to my usual meeting it doesn’t feel good. I share a lot in meetings also. I do it because I am alcoholic and I’m there to get or stay well. Sharing in meetings cuts my pain or fear in half typically. Not so in this group lately . I think it’s part of growing.... my first home group was loud and fun at first. I started to feel uncomfortable there after a few years and my sponsor said it didn’t matter where I went so long as I went somewhere. Since then I’ve changed home groups 2 more times in 5 more years. I don’t know why it doesn’t feel good anymore but it doesn’t. So I’m trying to “ circulate and percolate “. Thank you for this.... I now have the courage to step out of my comfort zone and try something new!!! Best wishes and GOD bless

  11. Steve says:

    I have learned after many years of going to meetings and having a really good home group, that the purpose of the meetings are not to share a fifth step but to share experience, strength and hope. I no longer use meetings as a dumping ground for my problems. Instead I talk to my sponsor about my personal problems. I a much more happy and peaceful now. I don’t expect anything when I attend an open share meeting. I practice going to be there for the newcomer or anyone who I might benefit by sharing the message in the big book as I have experienced it.

  12. John K says:

    I go to a lot of big book meetings or 12&12 meetings. I find that when you go to book meetings, the topics stay on the materiel that was read that day. It helps me to see others perspective on the steps and I listen to every ones experience strength and hope. That’s one thing I love about AA is that we tell others our experience not what to do but what we did and do!

  13. Megan says:

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. Some things need to be shared with a close mouthed friend. Meetings are for sharing our experience strength and hope. I learned all this the hard way. Alcoholics are human beings and I am guilty of the same things that horrify me when I see it in others. Attending Big Book discussion meetings and 12x12 meetings has helped me in countless ways. This practice can keep me focused on the “constantly” asking for guidance from my Higher Power. “How can I best serve...” and “thy will, not mine”. Thank you for this discussion.

  14. Jerry says:

    Sharing at meetings at times I find myself holding my tongue. I was at my home group and regular open discussion meeting .Like all meetings the question was asked “ is anyone having a problem staying away from a drink or anyone new or at there first meeting ever “ A person raises her hand and stated her name and made it known that this was her first meeting ever . What really had me disappointed was all the people sharing in the problem and not a word of welcome to the very new person . Our primary purpose is make that person welcome and share encouraging words to make that person comfortable. This happens way to often and most people that shared that meeting should know better and bring their problem to their sponsor . I remember how hard it was for me to walk into a room full of strangers and raise my hand .AA is a we program , but people with double digit sobriety couldn’t get passed themselves .I have not seen that person since and chances are will not see again . Doing the “ deal is all about helping others and this is a horrible example of selfishness

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