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Having a Sponsor

July 31, 2016 by Kayce L.

Our sponsors can be abundant sources of recovery information, wisdom, and loving words. They’ve done so much for us. From the late night telephone calls to the hours spent listening to our recovery writing, they’ve believed in us and invested their time to prove it. They’ve lovingly and firmly shown us how to be honest. Their boundless compassion in times of turmoil has given us the strength to go on. Their way of helping has prompted us to seek our answers within ourselves, and we’ve become mature, responsible, confident individuals as a result.


14 Comments »

  1. Thomas Cromer says:

    I haven't had a sponsor in two years he calls me every now and then but I'm ok because I pray and I read my book God has my back amen !!!!!!!!

    • Sid says:

      I have a sponsor an I think it's essential , I also work the steps all the way at least once a year. This is no one an done program it's a life long process that takes continued work on paper. To continue to gain peace of mind an grow in my 11th step.

    • Philip Harding says:

      I'm the same. I had a tremendously loving and supportive sponsor for one year in which we completed the 12 Steps. Now I rely on my individual brothers and sisters in the fellowship for sponsorship.

  2. Chloeb says:

    Great topic!! Agree Sid !! I got a new sponsor as soon as I could when I moved six months ago.. She knows me and somehow (God) we were brought together and we fit.. In a very short time .. I still talk to my first sponsor because she was my beginning building block but we even help our sponsors.. My sponsee helps me it's like a continuous circle that works.. Thanks for the topic

  3. Gayle R says:

    My sobriety date is Feb.24,2003...I have been blessed to have the same sponsor! She has been an example & a teacher. She introduced me to the traditions & concepts, along with the steps. I grow one day at a time. After many years of watching her constant service to others as an active member in AA, I became a GSR. It helped me see how AA is truly a Worldwide Organization. I am a second generation recovering alcoholic. I like to experience all aspects of recovery. I like what you wrote about sponcors! I have one & am one!

  4. Chloeb says:

    Great job gayle so thankful for you!! Great example too!!

  5. Scott P. says:

    I have been "dry" since 11-11-14 and I got into AA on 12-31-15, I haven't had the courage to ask someone to be my sponsor yet. I'm not sure if it's that I don't know how to ask another man to get into that type of relationship or if I'm just a little chicken. I spoke to my home group about it last night and I had quite a few folks suggest me getting a sponsor. I know I need one, I just don't know how to ask someone to be my sponsor. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated. (I do have a couple guys in mind). The main reason I bring this up is because one of the guys in my group that I have a lot of respect for just so happened to slip this week. (Thankfully he came back to the group the next day). Thanks in advance for any suggestions you may have.

    • Mje says:

      Scott, I resisted getting a sponsor my first few months into my program. Because it meant I had to be accountable to someone. That was scary and I was used to flying under the radar. My first sponsor approached me and said, I would like to be your temporary sponsor. Let's get together to start the steps and see if it works. She was my sponsor for one year until she changed jobs. I immediately got my second and current sponsor, because I "wanted what she had." I did not know her real well but she was so happy I asked her. Who knew!? We have become good friends and while we no longer meet every week, we check in a lot. I have helped her through some rough times and she certainly has helped me.

      This is nothing if not a We program. It is not safe to manage your own program, no matter how much sobriety you have. Because it is human nature that when emotions are involved, we cannot always be objective. We should be able to trust our sponsor to help us be objective to properly work our program. In early days, a sponsor should ensure you are going to as many meetings as you can, that you are reading and understand the 12 steps, and that you understand the 12 principles of AA. Complete honesty on both parts is required.

      I have nearly 7 years of sobriety and am going through one of the worst times of my life. But the thought of taking a drink makes me very nauseated. There is nothing so bad that even one drink won't make a whole lot worse.

      Try to find a sponsor who has not had a "slip" lately, because that is a relapse! However, if you still want to ask them to sponsor you, ask them. But also ask them about their relapse program. Remember, this is a program of complete honesty. If they won't discuss it with you L would advise you to find someone else.

      Finally, my groups start out with a temporary sponsor. We agree to meet for several weeks to determine if we are comfortable working together. Usually we are. I suggest you ask him if he would be your temporary sponsor for a month. After that, you will both discuss whether you want to continue working together. In my experience most people do. Also, my personal rule is that I will not work through the 12 steps with more than 3 people at a time (individual meetings, of course). That is for them and me. I need to make sure they get the 1:1 time they deserve with me each week. I also need to leave time for my family, my job and my own program.

    • Terry says:

      You hit the nail on the head, you're just a little chicken. We all were. Go, ask and receive what your HP has planned for you. Even if you could do it alone, why would you? Good luck!

  6. Thomas Cromer says:

    Mje awesome life is awesome !!!!!!!

  7. Tim says:

    Having a respectful sponsor that is aware that you may have a life outside of AA was a big deal for me. The first sponsor I had was overbearing and demanding that I do what he does. I nearly went back out drinking. Be careful and do not be afraid to tell them NO.

  8. Jerry says:

    Hey Tim, glad you spoke out about that. I immersed myself in AA about nine years. One day it just hit me that my AA life took over and I had no real identity anymore outside of AA. Grateful as I am for AA, I had to step back and realize that I loved who I was. AA or no AA. I've always felt like an outcast speaking out about some of the less positive things in AA. It is not a perfect program.

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